But actually it was 21 years ago today and she was my last baby girl.
My husband, at the time, wanted another boy, as I already had two girls and a boy. I didn't really want to get pregnant again, at the time---my husband and I were going through a lot of rough times in our marriage and I didn't really know if I wanted another child, but my husband just HAD to have another boy----and he tended to control most everything in our lives.
So, when Maryn came out and the doctor said, "Its a girl"----I couldn't stop smiling. I had at least won this small round, and was overjoyed that it was a girl. She was so tiny and had the biggest eyes with long brown hair. So beautiful.
I thought, at the time, that she was my last baby.....little did I know.....so I treated her as if she was my last. She didn't like to sleep much, so I had to move into the babies room to be close to her, as she would wake up my husband and of course, we couldn't have that, as he had to get some sleep for work....and what was I, chopped liver? But that's another story...
So, every 2 hours she would want to nurse, and didn't sleep through the night until she was about 18 months old. I used to wonder if I was destined to ever sleep again. (And now you know----I wasn't)
We all adored our little Minnie, as she was called, and she was spoiled rotten. I would rock her to sleep almost every night and just enjoy her little body cuddled up to me, her heart beat matching mine. She sometimes had tantrums, but I was older now and handled things better, so I would just grab her up and hold her tightly until her tantrum was over---stroking her head and whispering how everything would be alright. It always worked and she would calm down.
She was my sweetheart and we spent many days together when all the other kids were in school, going to the park or just going on walks.
One day, when it was raining, she decided to take a walk by herself out the back door, while I was in the shower. She must have been about 3 years old at the time, and she had taken her new umbrella. She wasn't worried, as we had walked this street many times, but you can imagine how freaked out I was when I came downstairs and saw the open back door and no Maryn. I went to the front of the house and looked up the street----there she was standing at the corner......just standing there. I yelled to her to stay there, not to cross the street! My heart was beating at a 100 miles per hour and I was praying as I ran the length of the street.
She turned and waved at me.
I said, "What are you doing?" as I scooped up her tiny body and hugged her to me, all the while trying not to scare her or freak out.
" I go for a walk", she replied.
"Why did you stop?" I said, as I realized how lucky that I was that she did and didn't try to cross the street.
"Big bird said that we had to have a Mommy hold our hand if we want to cross the street," she said proudly, beaming a huge smile, "So I was waiting for YOU."
That was how our relationship went as she got older. I have always felt a special closeness to Maryn, maybe because we are so alike in seeing the world in an abstract way---she is a bit of a rebel, but she has a heart of gold, and she has always been my sweetheart. She grew up to be such a bright and artistic child, testing into a gifted class where she was the happiest that she ever was during her school years. She thrived on hands-on, and visual projects that she could develop with her inquisitive mind.
She moved out about two years ago and went to Mass Art in Boston. She is an AMAZING artist---blowing me away with her paintings, a beautiful singer----writing her own songs, getting accolades for her voice in high school,----a great actress---you should have seen her comedy monologue in "Moon Over Buffalo"---a writer, and a great friend to all who know her.
She just moved to Ohio about a month ago. I am still going through withdrawals. I have a hard time being parted from my children. As I have said before, I love my children with such an intense passion, and I want to be able to see them at least once a month and if not, I need to know that they are close... It is very hard for me to not have her near. She assures me that she will come home every few months, but it sometimes hurts my heart to have her gone.
I feel that I need to have her near, so we can go hang out once in a while, go to a movie, or she can come over for parties, or impromptu dances or dress-up nights.
And I really NEED her to give me one of those amazing hugs that she does so well. She gives the worlds best hugs, hands down----the ones that envelope you in warmth, that squeeze you up and down---the kind that you don't ever want to stop.
So, I look forward to the next one....and hope that it is soon.
Halloween at 9 months....no wonder she always liked to dress up!
First day of kindergarten.
Maryn at 9 years old---such a great smile!
All dressed up and ready to go for "Moon Over Buffalo"
One of her artistic pics---there are lots of them, trust me...
And on her last trip home---this past Christmas.
Happy Birthday, my little sweetheart.
8 comments:
Another wonderful post, Shawn. Once again, your great love for your child comes through. They are so lucky to have you as their mother. I know you feel you are the lucky one and that is true, too.
What a truly beautiful girl she is.
I loved this post! I do not look forward to the day that my kids fly the coop either. The whole idea of them moving to another part of the country saddens me.
You have such a beautiful love for you daughter. Thank you for sharing it. Happy birthday, Maryn!
She was such a cutie little thing. Remember when she cut all her little curls off? That was a sad day. She looks like you as a kid in her Kindergarten pic, except for the mouth, of course! Happy Birthday, Mairzy!
thank you mom! i love you, and this is so nice. hopefully i'll see you soon! xoxoxoxo
That's such a sweet tribute. What a doll!
Did you celebate Maryn's birthday without her? Elly, Jacob and Cami celebrated Sariah's. Hope Maryn had a great birthday! What a sweet tribute.
We were actually hoping that she could come home this weekend, but it doesn't look like she is... :(
So---I guess that I will have to do a care package. I don't know when we will see her again.
Its tough...
Wow, she's a lovely girl and seems to be quite talented. I don't really look forward to the days when my girls fly the coop...
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