So, lately I have noticed that I have been getting "hit" on again.
Now, before you get all excited, like I would at my age, understand that the persons that seem to be "hitting" on me are.....women.
For some reason, in the past few weeks, I have attracted several of these alternate lifestyle types by just being....well...friendly and what I thought was being normal. The first happened at the grocery store. I was just checking out....er....at the checkout cashier, and I felt that "someone is staring at you" feeling that you get when you...well, feel that someone is staring at you. I paused from loading the groceries on the little "belt" and looked around. At the end of the checkout lane, there was a kind of attractive woman with a small mullet, in a large t-shirt, starting to bag my groceries. She was staring at me and grinning from ear to ear. Of course, I gave her a polite smile back, and continued to load my groceries.
As it came time to pay for my groceries, this particular woman just stood there, staring at me and smiling...it was starting to get creepy by now... So, as I turned to take my cart out, she looked at me...scanning up and down....seriously, and said, "Nice outfit, and I LOVE your earrings!....Would you like me to help you with your carriage?" (Thats what they call shopping carts back here----I know, weird!)
Ok, I don't know what you would have done, but I didn't really feel like explaining that even though I am older and have five children I don't want to "cross over" to the other side of the playing field, because my husband doesn't fulfill my needs as a woman.... Alright, so I have read too many articles and am stereotyping a bit... She looked a little disappointed, and I took my own cart...BRISKLY...out to my car.
About four days later, I was shopping at a TJ Maxx in the area. I was getting ready to leave after buying my items, when a woman walked in the store, and up to the area where I was checking out. She was middle-aged, sporting a very short hair-cut, a little on the "dumpy" side, but sporting a really interesting t-shirt. Here is where I have to admit that I have a reading problem... I will read anything... anywhere...on anyone....at any time. I actually will freak out if I can not read something, and it is in my vicinity. I know... a little obsessive compulsive.
So, I proceeded to read this woman's t-shirt, as I was standing there, waiting for my receipt. It was actually a really cool saying on the t-shirt, but I can't really remember it, because after I looked up from reading it, I caught the woman smiling at me and raising her eyebrows, as if to say, "You like what you see?"
"What?".....I thought,....."NO!...I was just reading your t-shirt!" But, since I didn't say it out loud and realized that I had been staring at this womans chest for the last few minutes....of course, she thought that I had other ideas about her! So, she smiled at me and said "Hi", and I looked down and said "Hi" back, and quickly grabbed my bag and made a fast exit....
Now, granted these two incidents might have been totally harmless and that I wasn't being "hit" upon by alternative lifestyle women. But I had to think and rethink the incidents to figure out why they were going after me, and do I look like I needed companionship? Is it because my hair is so short? I swear that I haven't taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and jeans, (not that there is anything wrong with that....you go, Seinfield...) It is just a little eerie to have women paying attention to me instead of men...
Well, about four days later, I was going into a deli/bakery style store to get a sandwich, and walked up to the counter to order. It was pretty late for lunch, as I never get around to it, so when I asked for a sandwich, the attractive young man behind the counter said, "I'm sorry, but the lunch sandwiches aren't being made anymore----its after 2:00..." I looked confused as to what I might get then, and he said, "But if you really want a sandwich, I will get everything back out and make you one!" (with a nice smile) I perked up and smiled back, but just asked for a loaf of bread to buy. (homemade oatmeal----good for you) As he was ringing up my bread, he turned to me and said, "You know, you look alot like a friend of mine....she dresses really stylish like you... You look really nice..."
Well..... "THANK YOU!", I replied, grinning from ear to ear.
Now....this is more like it....