My Documentary

I've decided that I want to make a documentary.

I've noticed how everyone, and literally their dog, are doing it, and seem to be doing well and making it at Sundance or one of the many other gazillion film festivals out there. It's the thing to do, you know.

I have two subjects that I am mulling over that fascinate me. Perhaps you, the reading audience can let me know which of these two subjects you would be more inclined to watch if my documentary was at, say, one of those film festivals. This way I can be a sure shoe-in when it comes to voting for my documentary. Aaah, I can see me now accepting my award....now I am thinking about what would I wear and how I would have someone from the last Project Runway design my gown----that cute blonde, funky designer----what was her name?

Ok, so I am getting off the subject----you've seen how my mind works. That is why I have failed to make it big yet, as I keep getting DISTRACTED!

Now,.....to the subjects of my documentaries. The cool part of making a documentary at this time is that my son, Clayton, is taking a video/film class and is learning how to edit, and make a great story, etc., so he could be my camera dude and hang out with me and film me on the days that I'm not looking too large and when my outfits look cool, etc. Oh, I know! We could always film me just in head type shots, because my neck is still thin and you couldn't see anything below! Note to self-----NEVER shoot yourself walking AWAY from the camera! Scary bad! I happen to have the worst shot of myself on Rick Larrimore's web site, where I am dancing and the cameraman took it from the back! OH, NO he didn't! (but really, he did and its not pretty...)

Ok, now where was I? Oh, yeah,....my documentary...
The two subjects that interest me the most are: (drum roll, please)

1. Where, how and why people live the way that they do. I am fascinated by people's houses or apartments and how they decorate or not decorate and how many animals do they have and what about kids?....or why not kids? No matter how large their homes are, (oh, I would love to film in a huge house----just so I could see how the rich live---and wouldn't you just love to use their toilet?) or how small. (like, what about those REALLY little houses that we always see as we drive down the road---am I the only one that thinks, "How do they fit in there?" "Where do those people put all their stuff?") Fascinating stuff, really... Think about the house that should be on that British show, "How Clean Is YOUR House?" Wow, wouldn't that be cool and uncomfortable to see and film at the same time?

2. Age really fascinates me. I am a HUGE people watcher and I am always so curious about how old people are. When I recently returned from a trip to visit my G-babies, I was stuck at La Guardia in NYC, and when I should have been sleeping, I spent the entire two hours watching people! It was grand! It was like, "people watching" heaven! So, I try to guess what people do, and how old they are, compared to me, and also I try to figure out if my bottom looks as big as some peoples' do and what the heck am I going to do about it? No, really I am terrible about guessing peoples ages... I always think that they are sooooo old and find out that they are only a few years older than me or even sometimes, younger! So, I would like to give the public the opportunity to tell me why they look so old or are barely walking when they are only 55, or have so many crow's feet when they are only 35, and stuff like that. Again....so fascinating.

So, let me know which subject would interest you the most. Ok, so I only have two people that read this blog, but that would help... I really need to know which subject will get me that big award at Sundance..."Audience Favorite" or something. I know that I won't get the BIG awards, because you have to do a documentary on something controversial, like global warming or children without homes, or something like that. But I couldn't really see myself doing something so serious and boring....

I mean, how do you accessorize a boring old suit and look absolutely fantastic in some old worn out work clothes? Because, lets face it, this is going to be my last shot at fame, and I've got to WORK IT, baby!