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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Missing: My Old Body

I am missing my old body.

It has been missing for about four years now, and I have finally decided to ask for help to find it.

Maybe you have seen it? It was quite attractive, with great legs, firm muscles, and very thin----yes, definitely very thin. It was very good at getting around, hardly ever tired, even when it didn't get a lot of sleep. My old body was able to eat as much as it wanted, also, and was able to burn it off after one night of dancing.

Did I mention that it was so fun to buy clothes for my old body? It was able to fit into small sizes and practically everything hung well on it---ahhh---fashion was made for my old body!

Now, don't think that I haven't tried before to get my old body back. I have tried on my own. There are people out there that have taken money and promised that they would return my old body, but they have lied and not brought it back. I keep trying different people, but they just take the money and I never get my old body back.

I have tried to get over losing my old body. I have read many articles that say that you should just let it go and move on, get used to your new body. They say that you shouldn't keep trying to find your old one....

But I can't.

I don't like the new one. I don't like the lumps and bumps, and how it can't move as fast as it used to. I don't like how it doesn't look good in everything that it puts on, and has to be dressed differently to make up for the extra weight. It even has a nasty habit of jiggling no matter how many exercises that it gets. And don't even start on the nasty veins and cellulite!

And so, my reader, please help me find my old body. I will listen to your suggestions as to where I can find it. I will never lose hope, you see. I refuse to give up on it---it is too precious to me. After all, it bore five children, moved all over the country, got a second husband, had several surgeries, and still managed to survive and look great!

Oh.........and please be kind, as my new body can't take too much grief. It doesn't quite bounce back like my old one.


Mom n Pop Wilson said...

I'll be happy to help you. I've been toying with the idea of starting a business related to the same with weekly challenges, etc. My dietitian friend did a similar thing with her family with positive results. The only problem is that I am pretty much booked until Sept. with the pioneer trek and family reunion. Would you be interested? Maybe I could find some time.

Hailey said...

This blog sounds like a Chris Clark game, but I couldn't actually find the body on anyone in the room, so I guess it's not that game.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I can't help look now--I'm too busy eating cookies...

The Bakers said...

I wish the same thing for my once stretch-markless tummy. It disappeared sometime after the sixth month of pregnancy with my first child. I hasn't returned no matter how much I wish it would!

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