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Thursday, October 27, 2005

And God Created 'White Noise'...And It Was Good...


I know that there is some famous author out there that says: "Life is just a series of changes, and we all change ourselves to deal with it..." If there isn't, then there should be....

But what I (or this unnameless author) am really trying to say was that life does change...but what we really change....is not ourselves to deal with it, but our addictions...

Now, I have many addictions----bubblegum chewing, (one right after another---it drives my husband crazy!) reading, (although I haven't had time to do this, since my 5 year old started his new schedule with kindergarten) putting on my makeup everyday, exercising, (I recommend "Gilad" on FITTV---I've been exercising with him for 20 years) movies at least once a week, going out to dinner, taking bubble baths, (although I haven't had this one lately, as I don't have my cool clawfoot tub) Cool Whip on everything, and last but not least-----"white noise"...

I don't know who invented "white noise". I can just imagine a little man---very tired and over worked, but an inventor, leaving the T.V. on at night one night as he was doing a project... He wakes up, realizing that he had the best sleep of his life, (this was before cable that went all night and the screen was making that hissing noise...) and notices that the sound from the T.V. screen has masked the night noises out----the cat scratching, the howl of the sirens outside, his daughter crying out from a bad dream----well, you get my drift...

And thus, "white noise" was born...

I don't know how I dealt with life before "white noise", but I refer to my life before it as the "insomniac years". It literally.....saved my life.

Now, to the present... I went to a gig in South Carolina this week to do backups for Billy Joel and Elton John. Before you get excited, it is the IMPERSONATORS of Billy Joel and Elton John... Anyway, we were in a rush to get out of the hotel (the Westin Hilton Head---I highly recommend it...) at 6:00 in the morning yesterday, to catch the plane home. So during the rush, even though I checked the room several times, (doesn't everyone do that looking under the bed thing before they leave a hotel?)----I left my "white noise" machine.

I felt so good that I had gotten up at 5:15 and even got my makeup on, (another addiction) even though I had only been to sleep at 12:30 the night before and had only 3 1/2 hours of sleep the night before that... So, when we all got into the shuttle for the hour drive to the airport,...I breathed a sigh of relief...

Until.............all of the sudden, it hit me...

(In my brain) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I LEFT MY "WHITE NOISE" MACHINE!...............................NOT AGAIN!! (I have gone through about 4 white noise machines---left at various hotels and houses across the country...my husband keeps replacing them, dutifully, and had just given me a new one for my birthday...to the tune of $100.00, mind you...)

I felt that deep sickness in the pit of my stomach...much like the same feeling that I had gotten when I realized that I had forgotten my bubble gum on this trip.......only worse...... What would I do now? How could life go on? How will I sleep tonight? Can I make my radio get the right sound?

I had become the worst thing imaginable...a "white noise" junkie...

So, I called the front desk of the hotel. (I had never thought of this before---don't know why---thank goodness that my extra intelligent daughter---refer to the first blog----and her boyfriend, my manager, were there, to remind me that I could do this...) The hotel assured me that they could send my machine in the mail and that they could charge the card that I had for incidentals for the $5.00 shipping charge.

I should have breathed a sigh of relief, shouldn't I? But I still had to figure out what to do until my next "fix", when my machine arrived in the mail. I had a sense of panic...... Could it take more than one week to arrive? What if it was lost in the mail? Can I get my radio to make the same sound in the meantime? What if there's a hurricane down THERE and they can't get it sent out? (Ok, I know that this one is very selfish and heartless---sorry...)

So...I had a rather shaky night last night----after taking valerian, (a natural sleeping herb---mind you!) playing around to get the right hissing sound, (AM doesn't have it, by the way---it has to be FM)----then finally sleeping pretty good despite the occasional static "CRACKLE".

...............I just hope that my machine comes soon in the mail................

And NO ONE better talk to me about that "white noise" dead people thing...
It's not true...not a word of it...and it's not true that this addiction leads to a bigger problem......cravings for airplane noise, so that I would have to travel constantly...

Hey, wait a minute...that sounds pretty good...

7 comments:

Hailey said...

I'm sorry to say that I don't share your white noise addiction, mom. When I listen to white noise, I hear all sorts of sounds within the noise itself and that drives me crazy! I remember visiting once and sharing a room with Brinna and she had her machine going and yours was going down the hall and I was so very close to going outside to sleep with the horses. I would have turned Brinna's machine off, but I shared a room with her in high school and I know for a fact that you do not mess with that girl's sleep--she'll totally throw things at you.

Brinna said...

Ahhhh... White noise...

Wonder Drug for the terminal light-sleeper...

Without it I would be a heck of a lot grouchier, which I'm sure everyone around me is grateful for!

P.S. I've stopped throwing things at people.

Anonymous said...

Hey shawn! How are you?? I miss you and maryn and ayden and pc sooo much, not that college isn't fun times... i'm not doing much theatre here, but right now we're putting on the rocky horror picture show and it is FABULOUS. oh man. College is great, I'm at Ithaca (upstate NY) studying everything and nothing (meaning i have no major). Hope everything is well with you! I'll probably see you around thanksgiving!

<3 Emily

ps i cannot believe you watch gilad! he's hilarious!!

matt mori said...

Hi Shawn. Long time no see. I saw your plea for blog visitors at Hailey's site and thought I'd drop in. Just a note that might save you some cash. We at our house also have a fondness for the white noise machine. We have found that those cheapo space heaters that cost about $15 at Walmart (if you can bring yourself to shop at the Devil's store...which we do...another time, another discussion), they make great white noise machines. Just set it to the fan setting (which really doesn't work that well most of the time, but since it is really just there for the noise, this is not a problem). The people at the store think my wife is crazy because she always plugs them all in and listens for the one making the most noise, meanwhile the sales person is explaining that for a few more dollars she can have the virtually silent version. We just recently bought a second one to block out the neighbors who like to get up at 5am every day.

Anonymous said...

Look back...way way back into the deep rooted memmories of your days as a Trooper. Now, think...ok..who was the tallest guy around when you were a junior? No! But close! Mitch Henderson here! Surprise? Do you even remember the big guy that called you a "good little Mormon"? I was visiting with Danette the other day on Classmates and you came up. Wow! You are doing great with your career and love the blogs! Well done young lady! Remember though..once you were half my age but you keep catching up! Think about that one!
Anyway..love the white noise. Firm believer..don't need it but know some who do. If you want to catch up..mitch.henderson@sbcglobal.net
My wife and I have been married for 28+ years with 2 grown, very successful daughters. I retired 3 months ago and just "putter" my wife says.
Write if you can and fill me in.
Mitch

White noise machines said...

Wow....white noise.Wonderful product for light sleeper.

White Noise Machine said...

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